I noticed some issues in the narrative, as I didn’t feel it was making full sense because if he is abusing her and they don’t have a loving relationship, how does she get pregnant? Also if he is abusing her because she is a mute, why did he marry her in the first place? In order to make it make more sense I have again developed the narrative.
- They are a normal happy couple. They find out that she is pregnant.
- The scan shows that it is a girl.
- He is not happy and starts abusing her for carrying a girl when he wanted a boy.
- He wants her to have an abortion. She looses her voice due to the shock and stress.
- She starts hallucinating because she wants to play with the baby not kill it. He continues to abuse her.
- She has a monologue saying she would rather kill herself and her baby will die with her, rather than see her husband get her daughter killed.
It is still told through a diary and flashbacks with the husband reading it and regretting and the audience thinking and predicting how she killed herself.