Story 5

I noticed some issues in the narrative, as I didn’t feel it was making full sense because if he is abusing her and they don’t have a loving relationship, how does she get pregnant? Also if he is abusing her because she is a mute, why did he marry her in the first place? In order to make it make more sense I have again developed the narrative.

  1. They are a normal happy couple. They find out that she is pregnant.
  2. The scan shows that it is a girl.
  3. He is not happy and starts abusing her for carrying a girl when he wanted a boy.
  4. He wants her to have an abortion. She looses her voice due to the shock and stress.
  5. She starts hallucinating because she wants to play with the baby not kill it. He continues to abuse her.
  6. She has a monologue saying she would rather kill herself and her baby will die with her, rather than see her husband get her daughter killed.

It is still told through a diary and flashbacks with the husband reading it and regretting and the audience thinking and predicting how she killed herself.